sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
remember last year when i left for the bar in flip flops and came back in heels?
it happened again.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
When nipples stop being hilarious I'll stop getting them out in public.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
