Why do I fail so hard at ironing, when I'm a woman and i should be amazing at it?
because god found you far too good at oral sex and had to make all things even?
By the way, i got bored and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
Honesty, no. I just want to shower you with hot dogs.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Nothing says "we're never gonna bone" like "nice haircut, it makes you look like my cousin"
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I'm both gender and math confused
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
Randomize
