Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
He was stoned laying on my bed singing I'm a little tea cup while I took a pregnancy test. Thank god it was negative.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
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