Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
We were so tired we rock paper scissored for who would be on top. I won.
I feel like Tiger Woods should send Jesse James a gift basket or something...
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
We played 2 very competitive games of Jenga and then fucked our brains out... BEST. RELATIONSHIP. EVER.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
