I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
what day is it and did you see me today?
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Also I think my taxi driver may have just died and we just happen to be on a 35 mph cruise control on 395...
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
I think I won over his best friend. He was staring at my boobs all night.
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
