so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
Apparently I made a stripper cry last night when I paid her $10 to go away
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
VOOOODKA VOOODKA WE PLEDGE OUR LOVE TO THEEEE VODKAAAA VODKAAAA SAVIOR OF LIBERTYYYY
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
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