Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Ecstasy body chair massage shower sex fest this week?
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
