Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Oprah Winfrey is a jealous, vengeful god
You're going to hell! And you're going to hell! And you! And you. You're all going to hell!!!
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I've officially slept with/dated two guys that have gotten tased. What the fuck is wrong with me
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
Randomize
