While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Hey. Did u tell any1 that I use Nuvaring?
Cuz 1 of ur bf's frat bros just asked me if I wanted to "play ring toss later"
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Before I dignify that with an answer, let me get this straight. You're asking me if I wiped my ass on the towels?
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
We need a signal or code word for "I basically shaved my whole body and we should touch each other tonight".
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Randomize
