i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
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Do you think the neighbors will know I was the one giving out the penis shaped lollipops to the children?
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
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I need to sanitize my soul.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
The weirdest part of it all was wondering if I was going to take off his fanny pack or he was before we fucked
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