Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
The waiter to-go cupped my bloody mary without me even asking. THAT hungover.
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
They just keep looking funny at me. No one has attempted to tell me that I don't make sense though so maybe they're all way more high than I am.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I like the new guy, he keeps beer in the fridge.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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