I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
You were captain morganning on the laundry hamper and when I walked in you slingshotted a thong at me and started peeing. This all came back to me when I picked up some jeans to wear and they smelled like piss.
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
When she saw "buy condoms" on my to do list she figured out pretty quick we were breaking up.
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
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