hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
i just assumed he broke up with her because she wasn't a freshman anymore
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
Oh god. It's my first day here, I'm still drunk and somebody just drifted in a forklift. I'm going to die.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Well I'm trying out this whole "not sleep with a stranger thing"
That's silly... just silly. And by silly I mean unrealistic.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
Randomize