My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
We named our party play list daddy issues
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
I just threw up trying to put pants on. This is obviously a sign to stay naked.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
Well, for starters, she called the condom a "dick mask."
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Randomize