Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
He puts stickers to promote his new shirt company in every sack he sells. He's like the donald trump of weed
please don't text me until you can spell three letter words again.
Bath mats should not be used at mops. they don't work. consider this a drunk psa
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
when I was walking home I wad so excited to see a cat on the sidewalk but it was really a traffic cone
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
