He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
I've literally already typed in by booty call text for friday night. all I have to do now is wait for is drunk me to press send
her wearing orange crocs at the bar was definitely a great form of contraception
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
How drunk is she?
She's trying to French braid the dogs hair, there's no stopping her
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I had to hypnotize my roommate last night so there's that.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
Im blaming it on six shots of Jack, loneliness and a chemical imbalance. That's the best I can think of...
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
Randomize
