so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I forgot it was 4/20. that COMPLETELY explains the 7/11. i was like "that's a lot of white dudes... and they're really into snacking."
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
you could never motorboat her...you'd have to motor-titanic her
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I'm fighting fire with fire. When my parents interrogate me about what I was doing last night, I tell them the truth. Every disgusting, awkward detail. I'm 23 now and they need to get used to it.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I just know what's gonna happen. I mean. I shaved my legs up to shorts length. But I'm leaving the rest as a sort of makeshift caution tape.
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
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