i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
I'm okay.. I had a good heart to heart with the cab driver Raheem - it's going to be our year.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I'm not gonna lie, my internet creeping skills scare me. I'm like Liam Neeson in Taken
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
