Vanillla milkshakes are the new Gold Bond. Will explain later.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
On another note I never thought having a drug addicted stalker would prove useful
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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