But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
There's not an emojicons for I think I ripped my asshole and want to die.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
How do I sound like a lady while communicating the fact that I want his dick in my mouth?
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