...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
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thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
Knowing that he goes to voodoo every Thursday really makes me want to get myself checked.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
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I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Is it festive if I masturbate to Santa porn?
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
This time tomorrow I will be drunk and in a voodoo shop
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
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