And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
I feel like a really awesome person when i have to check my roof for things i've lost
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
for future reference mormans are hard to crack but they give fucking amazing hand jobs.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
Last time I get high to write a paper the night before it's due. "Tiny Wings and sexuality" is not an acceptable topic to for a paper. Class in 30 minutes. I'm fucked...
Just warning you now f you do not get intoxicated with me in front of the family on thanksgiving we are not related.
Well the strippers have danced to goo goo dolls and green day, time of your life. Were all gonna commit suicide.
I have to stop envisioning penises as dragons.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm literally in the bathroom for two minutes and I walk out to a random dude with his face in your tits
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Randomize
