I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
i really regret not blowing your cousin before he went to jail
Just walked into McDonald's and a bunch of fat girls gave me a look like I just entered their territory.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
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