i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
okay I may or may not have wrapped my body pillow up in your t-shirt and sprayed it with your axe and am now spooning with it.
again? I'm starting to get a little creeped out now.
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
Some dude just came up to me and stroked my beard, smiled and left. Shave?
A sandwich with pizza as the bread. I love you.
YES WITH THE SQUARE KIND OF SLICES
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Jesus christos I come home and am treated like my vagina is made of gold
Either that or it dispenses candy
Randomize
