Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
They glued all of the ceiling tiles shut.
oh my god. you caused complete remodeling to a college campus that you don't even go to
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Just found a note on the bed that said "Dear mittens, had to leave early I'll be back soon."
WTF? Are you mittens?
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
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