I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
Before you become official, we should get a hotel room and fuck our brains out. Sort of like a going away party for your penis.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
he definitely had sex before you were fully potty trained.
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
I enjoy it and I rock at it. I wish there were a respectable way to make giving blow jobs a career.
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
My friends son got stung by a jellyfish over the weekend and we seriously stood there debating on whether or not we should pee on this toddler.
Still stoned. I like your bong. It can stay. No others, though.
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
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