all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
Lesbians are nicde people they do not take debit cards
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
If I get laid, we are framing that mattress and hanging it on the wall as the place we both lost our virginities.
I guess I was trying to make a cheese sandwich, I had to change my sheets cuz I slept on it and the cheese melted all over me, Dave, and my bed
Beer is acceptable at 830am if it's your bday, right?
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
