I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
My motherly instincts are overcoming my slutty ones
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
Lets go see if some hobos will give us a prostate massage for a 40 ounce.
I wish there were birth control emojis
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize