apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
She is totally STD
Is it a bad omen that my phone auto corrects dtf to STD
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Actions speak louder than pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you said you couldnt let go of the fence because your hand was molding to it.
He snuck into my grandmothers house, broke her lamp, fucked me, then had breakfast with us the next morning. I am an awful granddaughter.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
you slapped the bag of goldfish out of her hands and screamed, "BITCH THIS AINT NO AQUARIUM". That's how fucked up
Being able to fart in her presence and not be judged is why I pay half the rent.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
Nothing like walk of shaming to the bus stop in your bar clothes at noon and seeing the fire truck you work on drive past with the other shift giving you thumbs up.. Brotherhood at its finest
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
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