Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
The difference between what I would do for a regular Klondike bar and an Oreo flavored Klondike bar is astounding
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I just wanna be able to fart and do my homework but he won't leave
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
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