first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
what happened last night?
u kept telling him to fuck u optimus prime style
that explains why his roommate kept saying autobots roll out this morning as i left
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
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Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
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