Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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