dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
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Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
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Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
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