One night stand!! Now I'm pissing excellence
That burning is chlamydia
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Solid teamwork gives us a good shout of both bringing home trophy cougs
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
he really is such a sweet guy. it’s a shame i have to break his heart.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
