YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
So let me get this straight. You would sleep with an uncircumcised guy whose name you didn't know, but you won't try the new shrimp taco from taco bell?
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Stolen hampster on my tits. Don't tell me I don't know how to party.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
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