If a girl drunk dials you she's at least entertained the idea of sleeping w/ you correct?
YES
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
For now I'm a single mom monday-thursday and a drunk looking for dick the rest of the week
in the past 2 days I've ruined2-3 lives, made 2 men quit the bar, started a Wednesdays only affair, ended it, ruined that engagement and had my tires slashed by a jealous bouncer. please stop letting me out....
Randomize
