dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
He rode my dog to the bathroom and wouldn't stop laughing once he got in. It was scary.
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
I mean in all honesty I would let James Franco shit on my chest. End of story
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
Just cuz u chase vodka with sweet tea doesn't make it sweet tea vodka
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
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