Denmark girl wants me to go out but i remembered shes a raging whore with extremely questionable morals. Not feelin that tonight
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I miss my brother. He would have fucked the fat girl for me.
I told you I would
I wouldnt do that to you. You're my actual friend
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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