Oh yes. The girl who wanted me to watch her pee.
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
I suppose I should wish you a happy one year of bumping uglies
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
