Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
We realized tonight that we have to get advice about guys from you because you're our only straight male friend that neither of us has slept with.
The last time I thought I had a UTI, I ended up having herpes. Sooo.. This time in preparing myself for cancer or death.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Just watched my first Christmas porn of the year. Def have the spirit now
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Dude, I just feel great. I love life so much and I love you. Love. Love. So much love.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
