its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
Let me clarify that those tears were for losing my fuck buddy and his penis, not to the fact that he decided he wanted an actual relationship with feelings.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
I just had to explain to a 5 year old why I had fuzzy handcuffs hidden in a macaroni box under my bed.
They ran out of toilet paper so I used the rug to wipe my vagina
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
I'm basically the yoda of knowing when someone wants to sleep with you
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
