I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
What should i be more turned off about... his massive collection of condoms or that he asked me to sign my name by number 68 on the list posted on his wall?
I think the two go hand in hand.
I just remembered I gave $20 to a bum last nite. Philanthropy events always make me do stupid shit.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
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i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
Nope my penis exudes pure oxygen in times of crisis.
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
Are you setting a date to bone me?
Are you accepting?
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After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
DOMA is dead. I'm definitely going to be the last of our friends to get married now.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
We got banned from that Whataburger for life. WHATABURGER. Which is saying something. They deal with drunk dumbasses every night.
Tequila happens.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
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