...i apologize for hitting you up so much tonight im just kinda in a little pickle. im going to sleep in my car near u so pretty plz lmk if you head home...
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
I KNEW IT. I HAD A FEELING. THIS IS GODS CURSE. BREAK UP WITH A SEX GOD. GET ONE OF HIS PEASANTS.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
He is asleep with his dick hanging out of my my little pony pajamas. I am required to wake this man up by blowjob
Your sexual fantasies often terrify me but get a pic
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Officially locked in my status as an indifferent millennial by downloading Tinder.
Randomize
