Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
The waitress bought us a round. She said if anyone could do 52 margarita mondays in a row, it was us.
He like walks around to open car doors for me. Has already held my hair while I barf and still likes me. What. Is. Happening.
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
In an unrelated matter, im gonna eat you out so much later.
You made noises. And kept meowing. I have a twenty minute phone call to prove it.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
At one point I believe I was despencing medical advice while wearing a sombrero and a hulk hand
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
