Having a random hookup so left but love u
either way he was missing a nipple.
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I just wanted to share with you that my life has come to naked arts and crafts, to fix my flask, with a rum and coke in my hand... Good luck on your exam
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Remember last time I drank with my mom? I asked if I got my dick sucking abilities from her.
He wanted me to strip for him. I told him that we aren't at that serious of a fuck buddy relationship yet
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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