at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
You looked cold, so i decided to make you a blanket out of sticky notes.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
We need to get me chipped asap
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
