I'm lost and stupid without you.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
Looks like the opera singer hook up is paying off. Ran into the MILF from 407 and she said “your lady friend sounded like a very lucky girl.”
Randomize
