Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I went out with a plan. I came home with a Brian. THIS WAS NOT PART OF THE PLAN.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
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