True but thats because hes a fetus.
we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
this morning your mother said to me "sorry to have to meet you like this, in my sons bed" later she said "you never know whos gonna be in there. its scary sometimes"
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Just got back to the apartment. Why os there now 14 identical toothbrushes in the bathroom and only the two of us live here?
Randomize
