It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Sorry bud. Having a shitty day because the GF broke up with my wife and I. We really liked her too
Though I don't usually want to turn down ladies who want to liquify my clothing with their eyes, I made an exception.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
