I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
I wouldn't have found her if it wasn't for the vomit trail leading into my brother's room.
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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