Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
Taking a shot for every status related to the patriots losing. Hello hospital.
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
DO NOT SLAP ANYONE WITH ANY VEGAN MEAT PATTIES
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
Randomize
