Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
"Is there dairy in semen?" was in her recent google searches...so she's lactose intolerant AND a slut.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
Things you are not allowed to do while im gone: sell cats on ebay, put cats in freezer again, shave cats like lions, dye cats pink/blue, try to light cats on fire to"wake them up from their nap" agian
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
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