i just bought a vibrator and the cashier says "have fun with that." i didnt realise what he said so i responded "you too." and then he gave me his number...
Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just egged your windshield and it froze on contact. Have fun with that.
It's like the god of all feather dusters, but for your vagina
It really is the softest mustache
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
He overslept for our prescheduled morning sex. The fact that my vagina isn't enough to get him out of bed was the last straw.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
A Valium induced mom decided to walk into my bedroom this morning without knocking. Guess what I was doing? FML
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