For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
They high fived over us while we gave them synchronized blowjobs. In the same bed. Under the same blanket.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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