I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
Because you put the dick in ridiculously amazing boyfriend. And you deserve to have nice things happen to your penis. That's why.
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
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