We video chatted for almost two hours. But I woke up with puke on my keyboard. The question of the day: were we still chatting when I vommed? No idea.
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
One three hour marathon fuck session and now she's divorcing her husband. Should I get business cards made?
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she cant stop having the shits.
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