This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
There I was staring at a teeny weeny black one and a huge white one. It was like an episode of Myth Busters
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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