Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
I'll be honest with you, my dick was out at that point in time.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
