She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Alive.
So much puke
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
Got drunk and passed out flintstone vitamins to everyone at the bar. I'm just so god damn motherly
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
I'm drunk and he's still weird.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
Randomize