Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
well if I unknowingly shoved my hand up someones ass, I'm glad it was yours
andd if someone unknowingly shoved their hand up my ass without me knowing, im glad it was you
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
I'll come out for a little. I can't be visibly hungover at work again or I get written up and fired. And yes, I am aware of how alcoholic that sounds.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
