he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
I was high enough to understand and function with 'flip' while playing brick breaker
Damn. I don't think I could ever be that high.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
yeah, you could tell they werent used to the strange things that i say. they were all outright shocked when i told one guy i hoped someone kidnapped him and stretched his dickhole over a fire hydrant
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
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