quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I yelled at your uterus for you.
Randomize
