Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
i think the whole apartment complex could hear you beating off last night
please hold off on going into labor, i might need you to take me to the free clinic
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
The Dick I got last night was so phenomenal that I had to take a fucking personal day today.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
Randomize
