she just stood in the kitchen yelling "REAL WOMEN HAVE CURVES"
so I woke up this morning and on their fridge, the first item on the shopping list was my virginity.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
this just has baby written all over it
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
Its only 9:11 and I just somersaulted through a window. Its gonna be a good night
I just witnessed my first non cocain induced sunrise in five years.
Not my cup of tea
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I woke up spooning with a broom that someone taped a mustache too..i need to stop starting my nights by drinking "hangover" wine.
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
He can kiss the multicultural 3 some goodbye
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
Noo not in a booty call way, in a 'How are your abs and penis doing today?' sort of way.
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